What’s the most important decision you’ll ever make?

It’s not your career. Not where you live. Not even whether you have kids.

It’s who you choose as your partner.

Your partner influences:

• Your happiness
• Your stress levels
• Your health
• Your financial success
• Your overall trajectory in life

Choose well, and life feels lighter. You grow together, push each other, and build something meaningful.

Choose poorly, and even the best career, fitness, and financial success won’t make up for the daily strain.

So, how do you make the right choice? Or, if you're already in a relationship, how do you ensure it stays the right choice?

1. Work on Yourself First

You don’t get the ideal partner—you attract them. Who you are determines who you’ll be with.

• Want a woman who’s comfortable in any social setting, alcohol or not? Then you should be able to navigate social events without needing a drink.
• Want a woman who prioritizes health? Start eating better and hitting the gym yourself.
• Want someone who keeps things tidy? Don’t have a disaster of a room when you invite them over.

2. A Shared Vision is Non-Negotiable

Attraction is easy. A lasting relationship? That’s built on shared long-term goals, values, and priorities.

• What are your core values?
• Do you want kids?
• Where do you want to live?
• What kind of lifestyle do you both envision?

If you aren’t aligned on the big things, friction isn’t just possible—it’s inevitable.

3. Communication is Everything

John Gottman, one of the top relationship researchers, can predict with over 90 percent accuracy whether a couple will divorce, just by watching them argue for 15 minutes.

His research found that it’s not what you argue about, but how you argue that matters.

The biggest red flags?

• Criticism – Attacking the person, not the behavior. (“You never listen to me” vs. “I felt unheard in that conversation.”)
• Contempt – Eye-rolling, sarcasm, and disrespect. This is the number one predictor of divorce.
• Defensiveness – Playing the victim instead of taking responsibility.
• Stonewalling – Shutting down, avoiding discussion, or giving the silent treatment.

Healthy couples fight too. But they communicate with openness, respect, and a willingness to repair conflicts.

At the end of the day, your partner will either be your greatest asset—or your biggest liability. Choose wisely.

Oh, and happy Valentine’s Day!!

Till next week, be kind, be curious, and work hard.

Tanner

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